Healthy conflict

Unhealthy conflict

Frequent, intense & poorly resolved conflict

Domestic abuse(from SDA)

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• You, as parents, talk and listen to each other.
• You are equal, co-operative in your relationship, you work as a team.
• Your relationship is balanced.
• You may have regular disagreements, but you are able to resolve arguments and move on together.
• You can forgive each other following an argument and move on.
• You both have the skills to resolve your conflict so that you are both equally happy with the outcome and allow your partner’s perspectives and feelings, allowing for compromise. 

• You regularly argue and have rows, shouting all the time at each other about things like money, how tired/fed up you are, how you parent or housework.
• You feel there is a lack of warmth or emotional connection in your relationship. 
• You may regularly regret being in your relationship.
• You may not feel listened to, and you may not feel that your partner values your opinion.
• You can’t say sorry after an argument and move on.
• You don’t feel you have the energy or skills to resolve your ongoing arguments. But this isn’t because you feel afraid or manipulated.
• You have lost your focus on your children and become inconsistent in your parenting because of ongoing disagreements?
• However, you don't feel there is an imbalance of power in your relationships and neither of you seeks to control the other.

• There is a power imbalance.
• One or both parents reported being afraid.
• Physical, emotional, and sexual violence·
• Jealous and coercive controlling behaviours, including short temper, extreme anger and jealousy, name-calling, “mind games”, constantly checking up on partner, excessively phone/texting partner.
• Emotional abuse
• Stalking & harassment behaviours
• Presence of degrading or humiliating behaviours.
• “Honour” based violence and/or features of forced marriage.
• Behaviour in a relationship is seen as “abusive” if it consists of any of the following:
• physical or sexual abuse
• Violent or threatening behaviour
• Controlling or coercive behaviour
• Economic abuse
• Psychological, emotional or other abuse