Healthy parental conflict

Unhealthy conflict (i.e. frequent, intense and poorly resolved conflict)

Domestic abuse

Somerset Domestic Abuse

• ·         You, as parents, talk and listen to each other.

  ·         You are equal, co-operative in your relationship, you work as a team.

  ·         Your relationship is balanced.

  ·         You may have regular disagreements, but you are able to resolve arguments and move on together.

  ·         You can forgive each other following an argument and move on.

  ·         You both have the skills to resolve your conflict so that you are both equally happy with the outcome and allow your partner’s perspectives and feelings, allowing for compromise.

Do you recognise any of these?

• You regularly argue and have rows, shouting all the time at each other about things like money, how tired/fed up you are, how you parent or housework.
•       You feel there is a lack of warmth or emotional connection in your relationship.
•        You may regularly regret being in your relationship.
• ·         You may not feel listened to, and you may not feel that your partner values your opinion.
•       You can’t say sorry after an argument and move on.
• You don’t feel you have the energy or skills to resolve your ongoing arguments. But this isn’t because you feel afraid or manipulated.
• You have lost your focus on your children and become inconsistent in your parenting because of ongoing disagreements?
• However, you don’t feel there is an imbalance of power in your relationship and neither of you seeks to control the other.

• ·         There is a power imbalance. 

  ·         One or both parents report being afraid.

  ·         Physical, emotional, and sexual violence

  ·         Jealous and coercive controlling behaviours, including short temper, extreme anger and jealousy, name-calling, “mind games”, constantly checking up on partner, excessively phone/texting partner.

  ·         Emotional abuse

  ·         Stalking & harassment behaviours

  ·         Presence of degrading or humiliating behaviours

  ·         “Honour” based violence and/or features of forced marriage.

  Behaviour in a relationship is seen as “abusive” if it consists of any of the following:

  ·         physical or sexual abuse

  ·         Violent or threatening behaviour

  ·         Controlling or coercive behaviour

  ·         Economic abuse

  ·         Psychological, emotional or other abuse